You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
