eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
