can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I think my moral compass just broke
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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