He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
