I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
