The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
