my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
