Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
