i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Dignity is for republicans.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
