Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
