quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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