ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize