I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You may now shotgun with the bride
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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