Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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