let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
how does that bad decision feel?
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