I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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