dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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