so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
