conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
my liver is dry heaving
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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