just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
