My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
