At least make sure they are 18
Why
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
