How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Also, beer. Big fan.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
