In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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