It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
