Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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