just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
