You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
