Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
