Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
if only i could text you this smell
i think i scared a bird with my dick
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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