Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
