opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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