id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Randomize
