Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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