Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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