oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
