Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
