If i come over, it means nothing
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Houston, we have a squirter
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
