Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
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