But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
