Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
