I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
