the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Let's get the cat blown out
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
