Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
