Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
