I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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