hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
