Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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