the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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