ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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