So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
