Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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