At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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