your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
