Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
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