Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
