Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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