2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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