My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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