i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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