if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
